I've swore that I'd blog nightly, even felt guilty about missing those 2 days last week, then I never entered again. Tis the life! Sorry, sorry...I'm not avoiding you, I think I'm trying to avoid the wedding.
Things have started full tilt. Got the planner, been dress peeking (maybe even tried a couple on...okay so there's one I fell in love with already), looked at invitations, and possible floral arrangements. The wedding beast has been set free and he's definitely on the loose. A private ceremony and dinner with family and friends who choose to come has developed into a full blown wedding! You'd be quick to point the finger at Bridezilla...but alas, there's no monster yet! It seems the monster developing is Father of the Bridezilla! He's not a monster, but he had other plans for the wedding that weren't exactly my vision but am tailoring my vision into it...and beating my dear loving fiance into submission to follow the my wishes which are following the wishes of another person. Thank god he loves me so..at least he will for probably the next 6 months, then start praying for his life to end or me to fall down a long set of stairs in the final three.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
My salvation
So I've recently taken a few days off. It was my fiance's birthday and I just didn't feel much like planning. Kept on with the parenting but the son hasn't done much besides decides to make sounds like a man possessed while being fed. I think he gets that from his dad.
Anywho...because the planning was getting a little stressful and things not quite working out how I imagined, I started thinking...is this the right decision??? Fate seems like she's doing her damnedest to keep us from achieving our goals, so maybe there's a reason. Well my friends, I've come to a decision.
Last night we were watching the moving, Gran Torino. At the end I started to cry, if you don't cry at the end there's something wrong, but I didn't do the movie weep...I started CRYING!!! My fiance bends down to me, takes both my hands in his, leans forward and says to me..."don't worry, Clint Eastwood is still alive". Right there, fate be damned...I was sure I made the right decision.
Anywho...because the planning was getting a little stressful and things not quite working out how I imagined, I started thinking...is this the right decision??? Fate seems like she's doing her damnedest to keep us from achieving our goals, so maybe there's a reason. Well my friends, I've come to a decision.
Last night we were watching the moving, Gran Torino. At the end I started to cry, if you don't cry at the end there's something wrong, but I didn't do the movie weep...I started CRYING!!! My fiance bends down to me, takes both my hands in his, leans forward and says to me..."don't worry, Clint Eastwood is still alive". Right there, fate be damned...I was sure I made the right decision.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Last night attack of the imagination, today attack of technology
Okay, okay, okay!!! The fates are gonna drive me to spike my OJ with vodka at 12:15 in the afternoon!!!
After last night's fight with my dear friend sleep I thought I'd be faced with a break today...especially since I was taking a break from the planning. My son co-operated with the idea perfectly. He ate well, played well, went for his nap well. For once though, it's only my son who's on Team Mommy today.
First of all the kitchen is a disaster! Anyone who's a mother knows how hard it is to keep a clean house and anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to get the urge to clean. I've been good since the boy was born. Messes now annoy me, whereas I ignored them previously. So I set out to clean up my kitchen after breakfast. The son is playing well for me in his highchair (which he NEVER does while I'm cleaning the kitchen) and I load up the dishwasher and flick it on. There's a couple more to go in a second load (lack of dish soap, not laziness, to do them by hand) and I planned to get to them after this load. So I've done some this and that, the dishes are done and have cooled a bit by now...I pull open the dishwasher to load and unload and, TADA, there's the soap still sitting in the dispenser. *sigh* Here we go again...round 2 with load 1.
Being the good fiancee that I am and an even better mom I decided it would be a good idea to make something from our son for his dad's birthday tomorrow. After searching, searching, searching online for a perfect quote...I found a pic, edited the quote onto the pic and about to print it off. First off though, I have to fight with the paper tray to put photo paper in it...okay got it! Now I have to hook this computer up to the printer (it's a new comp). Should be no prob, right??? Well after about 30 mins Windows is still trying to find the proper driver and the printer has informed me that it's colors are low. If I ever get this computer to take this printer am I even gonna get a picture at all???
I need to pee but I'm scared to go to the bathroom. The way today is going, the toilet may swallow me whole. Now I'm wondering...is that such a bad thing???
After last night's fight with my dear friend sleep I thought I'd be faced with a break today...especially since I was taking a break from the planning. My son co-operated with the idea perfectly. He ate well, played well, went for his nap well. For once though, it's only my son who's on Team Mommy today.
First of all the kitchen is a disaster! Anyone who's a mother knows how hard it is to keep a clean house and anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to get the urge to clean. I've been good since the boy was born. Messes now annoy me, whereas I ignored them previously. So I set out to clean up my kitchen after breakfast. The son is playing well for me in his highchair (which he NEVER does while I'm cleaning the kitchen) and I load up the dishwasher and flick it on. There's a couple more to go in a second load (lack of dish soap, not laziness, to do them by hand) and I planned to get to them after this load. So I've done some this and that, the dishes are done and have cooled a bit by now...I pull open the dishwasher to load and unload and, TADA, there's the soap still sitting in the dispenser. *sigh* Here we go again...round 2 with load 1.
Being the good fiancee that I am and an even better mom I decided it would be a good idea to make something from our son for his dad's birthday tomorrow. After searching, searching, searching online for a perfect quote...I found a pic, edited the quote onto the pic and about to print it off. First off though, I have to fight with the paper tray to put photo paper in it...okay got it! Now I have to hook this computer up to the printer (it's a new comp). Should be no prob, right??? Well after about 30 mins Windows is still trying to find the proper driver and the printer has informed me that it's colors are low. If I ever get this computer to take this printer am I even gonna get a picture at all???
I need to pee but I'm scared to go to the bathroom. The way today is going, the toilet may swallow me whole. Now I'm wondering...is that such a bad thing???
My friend, Sleep, and I are in a bit of a fight
In my next life I really want to be a man! Not that I wanna sit on the couch, scratch, and burp (I do that regardless), I want their simplicity and ability to distance themselves from any situation.
I woke this morning, or rather dragged my ass, out of bed at 7 am with the regular summons from my little alarm clock who needs no batteries. Usually I'm groggy but functional but this fine particular morning nothing is functional. My mind is thick and sluggish and begging me to grab a pot of coffee and a straw. Yes, my friends, stress is creeping in and stealing my sleep from me. My stressors are divided between the sensical everyday stresses of life, and the non-sensical stresses of being a mother.
We may in the future be looking at a bit of a financial hit. Which anytime would be coverable but with trying to save for the upcoming nuptials, not so much fun. When is money fun though right??? Well besides when we're spending it frivolously, that seemed like a good idea at the time but leaves you full of regrets and a headache the next day, not unlike a hangover. Economics, future, health....these are all regular stresses and while a pain, are usually tolerable.
Once night hits, my neighbourhood takes on a side job....racetrack. You hear people driving like maniacs all over the place after 11 pm-ish. As I'm trying to find my comfortable spot in bed (I'm much like an animal who turns over and over and over then FINALLY falls asleep) I hear that the race has begun. Some invincible genius peels around the corner and burns down the street. Now I'm NOT even close to sleeping. My thoughts immediately turn to my son who's fast asleep in his crib in the next room. What if he'd been outside??? What could have happened??? At this point my friend, Sleep gets sick of being ignored and just gets up and leaves. I start thinking about what if one of these idiots hurt my precious baby??? I'd hate to have to hurt someone else's precious baby...but that's what it'd come down to if it was a show down between them and mine. I'm, over course, looking over the most obvious as my horrid daydream takes place...why would my son be outside playing on the street in the middle of the night??? This is non-sensical stress. The combination of the two caused me to ignore sleep and sleep, therefore, to ignore me.
Now getting back to why I wish I was a man. Through all this, my fiance is snoring away, oblivious to all. Why isn't he worried that a car is gonna spin out of control, crash through our house, go up the stairs, and take a left, and possible hurt our precious one??? Why isn't he obsessing over saving for our meager wedding??? It's because he's aware one's impossible and the other one can be worked around and at the end of it all...it doesn't matter. Which is why he's bounding around a kitchen right now and I'm fantasizing about a King named Sealy with his 500 thread-count Egyptian cotton robes. Ugh pass me the pot and a straw!!!
I woke this morning, or rather dragged my ass, out of bed at 7 am with the regular summons from my little alarm clock who needs no batteries. Usually I'm groggy but functional but this fine particular morning nothing is functional. My mind is thick and sluggish and begging me to grab a pot of coffee and a straw. Yes, my friends, stress is creeping in and stealing my sleep from me. My stressors are divided between the sensical everyday stresses of life, and the non-sensical stresses of being a mother.
We may in the future be looking at a bit of a financial hit. Which anytime would be coverable but with trying to save for the upcoming nuptials, not so much fun. When is money fun though right??? Well besides when we're spending it frivolously, that seemed like a good idea at the time but leaves you full of regrets and a headache the next day, not unlike a hangover. Economics, future, health....these are all regular stresses and while a pain, are usually tolerable.
Once night hits, my neighbourhood takes on a side job....racetrack. You hear people driving like maniacs all over the place after 11 pm-ish. As I'm trying to find my comfortable spot in bed (I'm much like an animal who turns over and over and over then FINALLY falls asleep) I hear that the race has begun. Some invincible genius peels around the corner and burns down the street. Now I'm NOT even close to sleeping. My thoughts immediately turn to my son who's fast asleep in his crib in the next room. What if he'd been outside??? What could have happened??? At this point my friend, Sleep gets sick of being ignored and just gets up and leaves. I start thinking about what if one of these idiots hurt my precious baby??? I'd hate to have to hurt someone else's precious baby...but that's what it'd come down to if it was a show down between them and mine. I'm, over course, looking over the most obvious as my horrid daydream takes place...why would my son be outside playing on the street in the middle of the night??? This is non-sensical stress. The combination of the two caused me to ignore sleep and sleep, therefore, to ignore me.
Now getting back to why I wish I was a man. Through all this, my fiance is snoring away, oblivious to all. Why isn't he worried that a car is gonna spin out of control, crash through our house, go up the stairs, and take a left, and possible hurt our precious one??? Why isn't he obsessing over saving for our meager wedding??? It's because he's aware one's impossible and the other one can be worked around and at the end of it all...it doesn't matter. Which is why he's bounding around a kitchen right now and I'm fantasizing about a King named Sealy with his 500 thread-count Egyptian cotton robes. Ugh pass me the pot and a straw!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Note from the writer...
These posts are to be taken with a grain of salt...preferably followed by a shot of tequila and a wedge of lemon. That's how most of these entries are created ;).
And here's where it spirals out of control....
So I've just talked to a friend...well I've talked to a few friends and all seem kinda disappointed at how intimate my ceremony is. They're understanding...they just don't trust me enough to not believe that I won't run away at the last moment. Maybe they're right and I don't trust myself lol. I'd kinda like to have a few ppl there...not a lot, just a scattering of friends. I'm sure I could talk him into it.
This is where, I imagine, all wedding planning starts to spiral out of control. You start with concrete...THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!!! plans and then your mind starts to wander. It's just gonna be our parents and son turns into a gathering of innocently 6 friends, then a bit of family, then some extended family, and then...well you wanna prove to that person you were frienemies with in high school that someone DOES wanna marry you and suddenly you're guest list is at 150! It hasn't happened like that...YET! My imagination does get ahead of itself though.
Just like the dress! I started out NOT wanting the poofy white gown, just a simple dressy outfit that I could probably reuse. That hasn't stopped me from looking, then kinda pondering...welllll if I find one I REALLY like and it's a REALLY decent price...isn't that a deal??? I think I need a wedding intervention already and I haven't actually did really any planning! Anyone have that beer for me??? (ugh it's only 10:39 am)!!!
This is where, I imagine, all wedding planning starts to spiral out of control. You start with concrete...THIS IS HOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!!! plans and then your mind starts to wander. It's just gonna be our parents and son turns into a gathering of innocently 6 friends, then a bit of family, then some extended family, and then...well you wanna prove to that person you were frienemies with in high school that someone DOES wanna marry you and suddenly you're guest list is at 150! It hasn't happened like that...YET! My imagination does get ahead of itself though.
Just like the dress! I started out NOT wanting the poofy white gown, just a simple dressy outfit that I could probably reuse. That hasn't stopped me from looking, then kinda pondering...welllll if I find one I REALLY like and it's a REALLY decent price...isn't that a deal??? I think I need a wedding intervention already and I haven't actually did really any planning! Anyone have that beer for me??? (ugh it's only 10:39 am)!!!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The squabbling newbie
I suppose this is my first ever blogging. You just witnessed the losing of my blog virginity. Ahh what an exhibitionist I am broadcasting this to whomever cares to read it. It's almost midnight. I'm in bed cuddled up to my favorite warm man...I mean machine...the man is already asleep.
Where to start!!! How bout why I'm here and being so vain in thinking you wanna read my script. Well it all started 29 years ago...if not longer than that. I always grew up believing kids and marriage were the bane of all existence and you were cursed with them only if you lead a bad life. Well here I am...had my first child at 28, a beautiful son who I love with all my being, and newly engaged as of July 1st. Maybe I lead a bad life and that's why I'm so called being "punished". If this is punishment then so far...so good, I can handle it! Or can I???
Now that I've basked in the engagement glow, I've decided to stick my toe into the wedding planning business. HAHAHAHA!!! I've gotten a headache and am craving a beer just thinking about what I need to think about. The best part of this is...we're planning a very small and intimate wedding... no big poofy dress, no multi-tiered cake, no dj spinning tunes while drunken family members shame themselves on the laminate dance floor. It's still giving me a headache and I'm still wanting that beer.
First part...picking a date! Well there's 365 days in a year, 366 on a leap year. That's a lot of deciding. Well you don't want holidays...so there goes at least New Years, Easter, and Christmas. You don't want it on birthdays or other ppl's anniversaries. Well there goes a dozen or so more dates. There's still a lot to choose from! Which season would you like? Umm any with a date that rolls off your tongue?? Worst part of it is, he wants to get married sooner than later, and I wanna ensure we have enough money to fund our cheap wedding haha. So I finally pointed out that spring is our best option. Tada, a date is drawn out of a hat!
Now we need to see if the official we have chosen (the groom knows one that he'd like to preside) is available that day and we need to find a site to have it. That's just the ground work. Now we just need to save money!!! Argh!!! Save money???!!! How is that even possible to fathom with an 8 month old??? We'll get there I suppose...and hopefully I have all my hair intact when the time comes. Bald Bride is not the title for me...even though I have eaten my words in the past!!!
Where to start!!! How bout why I'm here and being so vain in thinking you wanna read my script. Well it all started 29 years ago...if not longer than that. I always grew up believing kids and marriage were the bane of all existence and you were cursed with them only if you lead a bad life. Well here I am...had my first child at 28, a beautiful son who I love with all my being, and newly engaged as of July 1st. Maybe I lead a bad life and that's why I'm so called being "punished". If this is punishment then so far...so good, I can handle it! Or can I???
Now that I've basked in the engagement glow, I've decided to stick my toe into the wedding planning business. HAHAHAHA!!! I've gotten a headache and am craving a beer just thinking about what I need to think about. The best part of this is...we're planning a very small and intimate wedding... no big poofy dress, no multi-tiered cake, no dj spinning tunes while drunken family members shame themselves on the laminate dance floor. It's still giving me a headache and I'm still wanting that beer.
First part...picking a date! Well there's 365 days in a year, 366 on a leap year. That's a lot of deciding. Well you don't want holidays...so there goes at least New Years, Easter, and Christmas. You don't want it on birthdays or other ppl's anniversaries. Well there goes a dozen or so more dates. There's still a lot to choose from! Which season would you like? Umm any with a date that rolls off your tongue?? Worst part of it is, he wants to get married sooner than later, and I wanna ensure we have enough money to fund our cheap wedding haha. So I finally pointed out that spring is our best option. Tada, a date is drawn out of a hat!
Now we need to see if the official we have chosen (the groom knows one that he'd like to preside) is available that day and we need to find a site to have it. That's just the ground work. Now we just need to save money!!! Argh!!! Save money???!!! How is that even possible to fathom with an 8 month old??? We'll get there I suppose...and hopefully I have all my hair intact when the time comes. Bald Bride is not the title for me...even though I have eaten my words in the past!!!
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